In the US, there are around 827,261 divorces each year. If you’re going through a divorce yourself, you are not alone.
The legal separation process is a tough time for everyone involved, and of course, you want to try and find the best way to divorce. Your relationship with your spouse has changed dramatically, but there are ways to have a healthy divorce.
Want to know how to divorce on good terms with as little conflict as possible? Want to mitigate the financial and emotional damage it can entail? Read on to find out the best ways to navigate the process.
1. Get Educated
The first step in any divorce proceeding is to get educated about it. Learn about how the process works and what your next legal steps will be.
It can be a confusing and stressful process, but when you know how it works, it gets much easier to navigate. There are also a few different kinds of divorce you could opt for, and you can click here to learn more about them.
Learn about the legal process and educate yourself on the emotional impact of divorce too. Learn how to navigate negotiations and research the best ways to go about the process.
2. Stay Calm
Going through a divorce is an emotional experience and the chances are, you’re going to get mad at your spouse. With legal proceedings, mind games and marital trauma, you might lose your cool and say or do things you regret.
But it’s so important to stay calm. This applies to the initial conversation about divorce right through the legal process. It can help make the process much easier and help everyone get through it without getting too hurt.
The worst attitude you can have during a divorce is that you need to ‘win’. This will only lead to an ugly battle with your spouse and lead to emotional and financial stress.
It’s important to compromise and accept that you won’t be able to get everything you want. You need to understand that you will lose things to your spouse, and they will lose things to you. If you’re realistic about this, you can come to a reasonable arrangement that works for both of you.
4. Take Responsibility
No matter what happened in your marriage to lead to this divorce, you need to accept that you weren’t perfect either. Take responsibility for the things you did that might have contributed to the end of the marriage.
Acknowledge this and if you need to, apologize to your spouse. Don’t blame them for everything and own your actions. Don’t make out like they are solely to blame for the ending of your marriage. This will help you both move forward and make the divorce process much easier.
5. Work as a Team
If you have children together, it’s important that you and your partner remain a team. Divorce can be devastating for children and if you both work together, you can help them through it.
Work as a parental unit and show your children that you are still both there for them. Don’t bicker in front of them or send mixed messages between them. This will help to make the divorce process much easier for you and the kids.
6. Don’t Use the Kids as Pawns
Another important point to remember throughout your divorce is not to use the kids as pawns. You may be fighting for custody or other assets and negotiations can get nasty.
But make sure to never use the children to play each other off. They never asked for the divorce and there’s no reason they should be brought into it. It can ruin your relationships with them and destroy your chances of getting the things you want.
Also, make sure to spend as much time as you can with your children before and after the divorce. Divorce can have a huge psychological impact on children, so make sure to stay argument-free in front of them. Don’t bad-mouth your ex and spend time with your kids as often as you can.
7. Get Support
Divorce is a very stressful and emotional experience, so you need to make sure to look after yourself. Make sure to reach out to friends and get your support team around you.
Your support team can consist of friends, a therapist, family members, your lawyer and so on. Make sure you continue to stay healthy and do things that make you happy. Don’t go through it alone and practice self-care as much as possible.
Don’t feel afraid to ask for help or be vulnerable – nobody is expecting anything from you. Divorce is a terribly difficult time, so let yourself grieve the end of your marriage so you can move on.
This is How to Divorce in a Healthy Way
If you’ve tried marriage counseling and still want to divorce, these are the best ways to do it. If you’ve been thinking about how to divorce in the healthiest way possible, it’s all about staying calm and working together.
It’s important to work together to get through it with the best possible outcome. Take care of yourself and be mindful of how it will affect the children if you have any. By the end of it all, you’ll hopefully have a healthy separation with as little emotional and financial damage as possible.
If you want to know how to manage arguments in your relationships, check out our article for tips.